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what happens when you like someone so much. you just dont know what to do anymore. this is the only guy i've ever hestitated to do anything with. its so hard, and yet so easy at the same time. i know he truly deeply cares for me. he does tell me. but at the same time. sometimes i just dont believe him for mor reasons then you even know. our frienship is one of a kind, some people care to disagree, some care to agree. what i feel for him, is something i've never felt for someone so much in my life. yeahh i've had quite a few flings, crushes lil side things, but never like this. it comes and goes all the time. when i finally think im over him like that. it starts up again, and i have no control. my heart tells me one thing. but the rest tells me another. i know the way some of my friends feel, and its hard. and i know how some of his friends are, hes changed so much from the first day i ever met him. i dont want to hurt anyone, by the things i do. in the end, i always have an enemy when it comes to this situation. and i dont want that at all. the one thing that people do or dont understand is he lies about a lot of things at times, so you never know whats really going on. i mean ususally i dont ever believe him, cuz i know when hes lying. but at the back of my mind, i just want to let that all go, and believe him, cuz i truly dont care. when i talk to him, thats all that matters, im important enough for him to talk to but then again only when it suits him. point. im there 24/7 everyday for him, if he ever needed it, but i cant ever say the same. yes i mean if i do get a hold of him or whatnot, he'll say hes there, but really only when its convient to him. && i dont kno what to do. a part of me wants to let go so badly, move one with someone that cares about me all the time, and not just when its convient for them, who will love me for no cost, and just to be with me for no reason at all, being who i am... but the other part says to stay close and wait. but he wont. and i think thats what hurts the most.
suggestions.?!
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dumb_bunnie_21's journal
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